Out of the Bag, Out of the Country

I have returned, triumphant. While my return was initially secret in order to ensure success with a few surprises I had planned, I can now proudly announce that I have returned to the U.S. safely and have been in the country for a week now.

I was very sad to leave South Africa, bidding goodbye to my friends and the natural beauty of that country. However, returning to the U.S. has been wonderful as well. I have been spending the last week with friends and family, enjoying the foods and comforts I was deprived of in South Africa. Now I'm armed with stories and photos, and ready to see the people I missed.

There will probably be more posts over the next few weeks as I process my experiences, finish unpacking, and work through some culture shock. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Pictures of Poverty

I've mentioned my work with SAEP in previous posts, but last week I finally got my pictures developed from the day I took my camera to the creche with me. Below are some of the photos from the creche where I've been working for the last four months.


Zamukhanyo Educare, the creche where I have been working, cares for 75-100 children, ages 0-6, each day.


We taught the children to play "Duck, Duck, Goose" on one of our first visits and it soon became one of their favorite activities.


There are only 4 staff members who oversee the children on a daily basis, so things can get a bit chaotic. This staff member is taking a well-deserved moment to rest!


Whites rarely go into the townships for safety reasons, so the children were fascinated by their visitors. That’s actually me in the center of the picture, surrounded by children who are investigating my hair.


The children press in, all eager to be in the picture.


Esther, Kirema, and I enjoyed the kid’s attention and affection.


Ernestina, Kirema, Esther, and I (back, from left) pose with the children. The woman in the front is the principal of the creche, Nubuntu.

I have now completed my capstone and finished my period of volunteering at Zamukhanyo. Still, these images and the lessons I learn will remain with me.

10 Things: Self-Reflection

Several of my friends have put up blog posts lately listing 10 things most people don't know about them. Most of the lists have included hidden emotions, former political leanings, weaknesses, fears, and old stories. After reading a few, I decided to twist the idea a bit. I decided to make a list of 10 things I didn't know about myself before I came to South Africa. Beware, this contains more emotional drivel than my usual entries, so if you don't want to hear me talk about "Me, me, ME!", you might want to skip this entry.

1. I am very independent. When I first mentioned to people that I was coming to South Africa, many were aghast that I would go somewhere so far away, essentially by myself. Then in a discussion with a couple of my housemates about first impressions of one another, several people said they could tell in the first couple of days that I'm very independent. That gave me pause, because I had never really considered that to be one of my traits. On further inspection, however, I began to see what they meant. I don't follow the herd to drinking parties or common visit points. I'm content to go church-shopping by myself, join groups with no other members my age, discover new places and activities on my own, or stay behind and entertain myself when people are doing things that don't interest me.

2. I don't hate cooking. Wait, don't jump on this as a sudden interest in domestic arts! I realized since I got here that I can cook and I am even willing to do so. The thing I actually don't like is doing the dishes after I cook. I know that if I cook I'll have to wash pans and plates and utensils, and I'd rather avoid that, so I avoid cooking in the first place. But cooking itself isn't so bad.

3. I'm firmly rooted. I realize that this sentence seems to be missing the prepositional phrase "in..." But I'm not simply rooted in one thing. I have deep connections, unrecognized before, to my church and the community in my hometown, to my family, to my friends both at school and at home, to my church and the organizations I work for at school, and to my beliefs. When I first arrived and was immensely homesick, when everything else seemed swept away by distance and time, I relied on my faith and knew I would be OK because I still felt connected in some strange way.

4. I take action on my passions. When I arrived in Cape Town, I saw a span of nearly five months stretched before me with no time commitments besides classes and no pressure to fulfill expectations on me. I was free to use my time as I pleased. I was a bit surprised to find that, despite having complete freedom of choice in the matter, many of the things I chose to spend my time on here are things I spend my time on in the States as well. I became active in a church and a Bible Study group, started volunteering with an organization working to alleviate poverty and improve educational opportunities, developed regular attendance of poetry readings, and spent my remaining time traveling and relaxing with friends. Even 9000 miles away from my usual activities, I still got involved in similar things: exploring my faith, serving others, supporting the arts, traveling, and building relationships.

5. I love academics! Yes, I'm a nerd, and I can admit it. I enjoy excellent, thought-provoking lectures and discussions. I frequently enjoy reading academic journals and I get excited when I get to write a paper about a topic that interests me. When my classmates let their classes slide because their grades don't transfer, I worked just as hard because, I realized, I enjoy doing it.

6. I'm OK with ordinary. Many of my housemates here are political science majors who dream of being elected to office someday. I realized, in listening to their ambitions, that I don't exactly agree. While I am willing to work hard and like to achieve, I don't set my sites on fame, wealth, or power. My heroes aren't usually the people in the spotlight; I have always looked up to the people in my life who loved and challenged me. I want to emulate the people who have inspired me: my parents, my teachers, the people in my life who work hard and serve the people around them. I am content with a small existence. I just want to be remembered someday as a person who loved and served God and the people around me.

7. I have neat-freak tendencies. I know this is shocking, but try not to fall out of your computer chair, I wouldn't want you to get hurt. I have discovered, in living in a house with 12 people, that I get frustrated by mess and clutter. I can handle disorganized piles of paper on desks, but I find it enormously annoying when dirty dishes pile up for days, when the garbage can spills over, and when the surfaces are all stained and sticky. I find people who lose things constantly to be incredibly irresponsible. The pervasive smell of smoke in the house next door would be totally unacceptable if I lived there. I can't stand it when a bedroom floor is covered with clothes and papers spilled everywhere. I usually consider myself a somewhat messy person, but I have discovered that I am neater and less tolerant of mess than I previously realized.

8. I want to be a poet. I have attempted to write poetry since I was 10 years old. It has never been great, and I've never had the courage to share my poems with anyone. Yet attending poetry readings for the last 4 months has inspired me to keep writing and trying to improve. Poetry is an incredibly beautiful form of self-expression. I have always loved playing with words, and poetry is a perfect vehicle for that. I actually got up the courage to read a few poems in front of people this week, albeit under the impression that if I failed I could avoid the people/place for the rest of my life. I actually enjoyed it. I now intend to keep writing, perhaps more seriously.

9. I can... I am more capable than I ever imagined. I have discovered that I can do a vast assortment of things, given proper instruction and provided that I don't think about failing. I am by no means infallible or indestructable, I have failed and I will continue to fail throughout my life. But there are a huge number of things that I can do.

10. I'm motivated. I set my mind on something, I set goals, and then I get to work achieving them. I wanted to come to Africa, so I did the researched, did the paperwork, and came. I wanted to complete my senior capstone doing a service-learning project while abroad, which I don't think anyone has done before, so I simply talked to people and made the arrangements to get it done. I want to go to seminary, so I have started working on applications, even while I'm on another continent. Right now, however, I'm hungry and I'm excited to go enjoy the spring sunshine, so I'm going to go find something to eat and have a picnic outside!

Swirling Thoughts

My last few days have been a whirlwind of studying and conversation. These are some of the thoughts swirling in my head.

Two-thirds of the people in Africa live on less than a dollar a day.

I spoke French with a waiter from Congo at dinner earlier this week.

"It smells like they boiled the ocean!" - a friend

I witnessed a smash-and-grab robbery in the middle of the afternoon at a busy intersection yesterday.

Being surrounded by conversations only in English is going to seem so strange and boring after months of overhearing Afrikaans, Zulu, and Xhosa. I'm not sure I'll be able to focus on one conversation when I can actually understand the ones around me!

In South Africa, I've never seen a white janitor, homeless person, minibus driver, prostitute, or security guard. Sometimes I wonder if the legacy of Apartheid will ever fade.

"You know what the problem with forks is? They don't spoon properly!" - me

Windows without bars and houses without fences are going to seem so odd when I get home.

"As Tina Turner said, what's love got to do with it?" - Professor K.

Why do scholars from Africa, Asia, and Latin America have to write in European languages in order to be considered "legitimate"?

What am I going to do when, at the end of my time here, all I have left to eat is half a jar of peanut butter, moldy bread, and some soy sauce?

"Extreme religion remains dangerous." - Professor M.

I actually have nightmares about packing and standardized tests.

Me: "Who has nightmares about standardized tests?"
Friend #1: "DJ Tanner on Full House."
Me: "You actually remember that show?"
Friend #2: "Actually, that's what I was going to say, too."
Me: "Sad."

Why do westerners assume the existence of one "African Traditional Religion" when "European Traditional Religion" and "Asian Traditional Religion" don't exist?

"I'm writing on my spirit." -Mbembe

Everwhere I go, I hear American music, usually old rap and R&B mixed with Britney Spears. *shudder* I'm looking forward to diversity of radio in the U.S.!

"I'm not actually going to sew hatred and discord, but it sounds like fun!" - me

I haven't seen ranch dressing or pepperoni pizza in 4 months. I didn't even know I could survive this long without those foods.

What is my orientation in studying Africa: am I facing west or facing Mt. Kenya?

Are the conditions Orwell imagined in Nineteen Eighty-Four plausible?

"When you're upside-down and yoru car is on top of you, this is not good." -Professor K.

I'm worried about getting into graduate school, while the kids I work with in the creche may not even graduate from high school.

Which is the better place to sit on the minibus, the front seat, or the back? Which is the better job, minibus driver, or minibus guard?

Fancy, Fire, and Finals

I went shopping at the market on Sunday, which was a fascinating experience. The market is made up of seemingly endless rows of stalls, crowded together. The merchants sell all sorts of things, from paintins and sculptures to traditional masks and fabrics, from piping and sunglasses to clothing and food. All sorts of languages and conversations add to the roar of noise, from tourists speaking French, German, and English, to merchants laughing, joking, and bartering in Zulu, Xhosa, and Afrikaans. I spoke briefly with a doctor from Sudan who was selling his paintings while waiting to be admitted to the medical boards in South Africa. I discussed Christianity with a jewelry merchant from Kenya. I bartered and haggled to get prices I could live with, while still knowing that the merchants were always getting the better end of the deal. Over the course of the afternoon, my store of cash got smaller, my bag of purchases expanded, and my neck grew steadily more sunburned. All in all, it was a lovely afternoon!

I went to a very fancy dinner last weekend with several of my housemates. A student we know got a job as a hostess and waitress at a VERY swanky restaurant in Cape Town. It's one of those restaurants people like me only see in movies or on TV, with small portions of experimental dishes on large plates with intricate presentation and a ten-page wine list. We split a bottle of white wine, enjoyed cheese platters and perfectly-prepared seafood, followed by delicious desserts, and conversed in adult tones about literature. We felt very grown up and upper-crust. Throughout the affair, I imagined myself to be enjoying the lifestyle of the rich English aristocrats who lived in Cape Town in the eighteenth century. My imagination turned the restaurant terrace into the terrace of a friend's mansion, and we feasted and thoroughly enjoyed our evening.

Experiencing such ostentatious consumption in Cape Town further emphasized to me the dichotomy of existence in this city. The rich enjoy a privileged life with every luxury while the poor live in tiny shacks with no running water or electricity, wondering where their next meal will come from. A few days later, I read about a large fire in the township of Kyalitsha, in which already-impoverished families lost what little they had. Such occurrences break my heart and make me feel extremely guilty for enjoying nights like last weekend. Where is the balance?

On a completely different note, I FINALLY had my first final exam of the semester on Tuesday. The exam was precisely what I expected, since the professors had given us a good description of what the questions would be like. The only problem with the exam was the growing pain in my hand. After two weeks of relaxing, my muscles were not prepared to write for three hours! At least now I have an idea of what to expect, now I know that I'll be fine with the exams here. Only two more to go before I can relax in the knowledge that I've survived all my academic work for the semester!